Sunday, January 23, 2005

am i completely out of my mind?

i've known this guy for one week. *one week.* and i've only seen him in person twice. and he is over 2600 miles away.

but i have such an incredible time talking to him...i turn in to a grinning idiot when he calls, or emails, or text messages me. we have so many similar interests and views...the connection has been immediate and intense. and so already, he is making plans to come out here in early march, and i in turn will fly to arizona a few weeks later. we haven't touched upon calling this anything, or hypothesized on where it might be headed...we're just taking it day by day. which is...great. really. i feel like i usually need so much more direction and definition in my relationships, and those are two things that we definately do not have. but it doesn't matter. right now, it's enough that i think about him all day long, that i anticipate his phone calls, that i get giddy and silly when he calls me "darlin'". it's enough to know that whatever this is, this effect that he's having on me and my thoughts, i'm having the same effect on him as well. and i suppose that at some point, we will have to say "this can never be," or, "what needs to be done to make this be," the answer to the latter being cross-country moves and major life upheaval. things that i have never even *considered* considering in past relationships. this is my home, this is where i want to be, and i have no intentions of leaving. yet...after one week, i find myself questioning that conviction. which leads to the question that started this post: am i completely out of my mind?

taking this one day at a time...