yowza. it's been three months since i last posted here. i've been so busy with my thesis that it just kind of fell by the wayside. and though i have a lot i could write about, the real reason i'm even posting now is that i just looked at my counter stats and saw that some people have been kind enough to keep checking in on me (some almost every day!) and have apparently not given up hope that i might someday actually post again. so here i am.

i have a guilt complex about my thesis: specifically, that every time i do anything other than work on my thesis, i feel like a procrastinating lazy bum. like right now, for example. it's kind of consumed my life. in fact, i was looking over my last post with my goals for the new year, and i have been sadly remiss with nearly all of them. i do think i've been a bit better about communicating with some people at least. and i've been pretty good about not missing meals and getting in breakfast every morning. the be a better student one is hard for me to judge due to the aforementioned guilt complex; probably, i'm a better student than i think of myself as. not so good about the gym thing, though. it keeps boiling down to "if i have an hour to go to the gym, then couldn't i better spend that hour working on my thesis?". damn you, guilt complex. damn you straight to hell.

the other major thing in my life right now is my impending cross-country move. it gets scarier the closer it gets. i'm excited, i really am. but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little worried, too. i know that AZ's excited for me to move out there, but i feel a bit like he's sort of expecting, or at least *hoping*, that i'll be able to just tuck myself neatly into his current life as-is. that i'll be able to move into the house that he's currently in (which in theory sounds fine, except he has a HORRID landlord and, uh, ROOM MATES), or that if we have to live somewhere else, that it will be in the same neighborhood that he's in now. again, in theory, fine. except that i'm a water resources specialist moving to an extremely arid climate, and i need to be pretty flexible in terms of locations of employment. he just wants things to change as little as possible, and the reality is that things are going to change quite a lot, and the less prepared he is for that reality, the messier the transition is going to be. *sigh*.

i could keep going with this, but i really shouldn't right now. you know, the guilt complex and all...